A Growing Trend...

A troubling trend within the Church is the growing number of families that opt to forego a Funeral Mass in favor of a service at the funeral home or just a committal service at the cemetery. Some decline liturgical rites altogether. Sadly, those who are deprived of funeral rites have often been lifelong Catholics who presume their children will arrange a traditional funeral for them. How have we come to this point?

Sometimes it is a matter of expense. Some families are unable to make a parish offering or object to the notion of  an offering. Some funeral directors fail to inform them that most parishes will waive the offering, although they may still have to pay for the organist and a singer. Many parishes waive the offering in certain circumstances: the death of an infant or young adult or as a sign of gratitude for a long serving parish volunteer.

More often, unfortunately, the children are not practicing Catholics and don’t see meaning in the Mass. Some have consciously left the church or no longer feel the cultural pull that exerted itself in the past even over marginal Catholics. In other instances, especially when very old people have few living relatives, the family may feel ill at ease that the funeral will be in a nearly empty church, though a funeral might be held in a small chapel if available.

Whatever the reasons for declining a funeral Mass there are better reasons for having one. Bishop Michael Saltarelli of Wilmington once pointed out that the Funeral Mass

• Promotes a healthy grieving process that can lead to deep levels of personal conversion and spiritual growth.
• When avoided, may short-circuit grief and healing.
• Helps to heal the sorrow that comes from the loss of a loved one.
• May well be a special moment of grace for your family.

Pope Benedict viewed the funeral Mass, prayers, and sacrifices as ways of continuing one’s love for those who have died. These we offer to aid the deceased in the process of perfecting all in them that may not be Christ so that they might enter into heaven.