On this Octave day of Easter, St. John transports us to the Upper Room, on the evening of Easter Sunday, where the doors were locked and where the apostles took refuge out of fear. They had resolved to go into hiding after the Lord’s death fearing they would be next!
But into this anxious scene the Risen Lord comes. Seeing him, the apostles’ fear must have intensified, bracing themselves for the Lord’s anger! But there is no anger only mercy! There is no scolding but only the Spirit’s gift of peace and the mandate that they in turn be instruments of God’s mercy and reconciliation.
But in this scene of joy, there is a ‘glitch.’ Thomas wasn’t there. We don’t know why. But some have suggested three reasons:
He had gone out to the Jerusalem Shop-Rite for provisions.
He may have been so distraught he wanted to be alone in his grief, and
He may have courageously ventured to the tomb to see things for himself.
Whatever the case, when he does return, he was not easily persuaded and doubted the news. But let’s remember that the other apostles were also skeptical of the women’s report of the resurrection. So, we should not be too hard on Thomas!
A week later, the Lord returns and doors are still locked. Again, no reprimand, but only mercy! Again, a greeting of peace but then the Lord immediately turns to the skeptical Thomas. He knows what Thomas had said! As the Lord invites Thomas to touch his wounds, his doubt dissolves into the strongest affirmation of Jesus’ identity in the Gospels: “My Lord and my God!”
St. John Henry Newman said Thomas simply possessed a “craving for certainty.” Unusual? There are very few of us who get through life without doubts or questions about our faith. And they arise over various circumstances: We can doubt our worthiness…whether God really loves us…or whether he will forgive us. We can doubt God’s goodness in the face of physical suffering. Cultural messages that bombard us daily can cause us to question the relevance of our faith or the very existence of God. Our inability to respond to a challenge to our beliefs might lead us to doubt. Great saints from John of the Cross to Mother Teresa wrestled with doubts. So, when we doubt we are in good company.
There is nothing wrong in doubts and questions. In fact, it is helpful. Doubt is my friend and not my foe! Doubt is not the opposite of faith. St. Anselm said, “Faith seeks understanding,” This is what questions and doubts allow us to do. They should drive us to study and seek an outcome brighter than any uncertainty. But we must be certain that we not use our doubts and questions to justify our wandering away from our faith. The challenge is not to walk away but to persevere, seeking knowledge and understanding that puts us on the path to a mature and deeper faith.
This is why religious education is a life-long process. Pope Francis lamented that too many people see Confirmation as the “Sacrament of Goodbye!” A Jesuit writer observed: “An adult life requires an adult faith. You wouldn’t consider yourself equipped to face life with a 3rd grader’s understanding of Math. Yet people expect the religious instruction they had in grammar school to sustain them in the adult world.
May St. Thomas’ prayers obtain for us a strong desire to seek greater, deeper insights into our great faith so that doubts do not become trapdoors to fear but doorways to the confident and mature faith we need to live in today’s challenging world. Amen.